Sunday, July 31, 2005
sigh. now that national day is approaching, i can't help but be reminded all over again for the thousandth time of my platoonmates.
last year, we rod, we camped in school to practise for our precision drill performance. crying as i saw all my platoonmates sound asleep cos i knew i would never see their baby faces when they are sleeping. staying up all night to make their albums. dozing off on the parade square while waiting for the guest of honour. can you believe that. me and jas didn't sleep a wink.
and then crying all over again when we were interlocking our arms singing all the national day songs. giving them the albums. crying again when we saw the slides our cadets made for us.
it was all the tears and all the feelings that gushed out.
sigh. this year, it won't be us. i have to say that the only regret i have as i left ncc was not being a good nco to my part c cadets. i know they treat me as if i'm invisible cos i've never really helped them openly. i'm the kind that plans all the things merticulously back-stage. no one knows all the effort you put in behind the wraps. oh well, it has always been the same throughout my 4 years. even for my platoon.
but i never ask for anything in return. just their smiles will do.
.lost.`@ 2:58 PM
Saturday, July 30, 2005
helloz. just returned on friday from some adventure camp.
i am so chao ta now la!!! should have put more sun block.
sigh super duper tired after the 25km walk. kayaking. rock-climbing. rafting. team building games.
i think it was quite fun cos overall our class bonded although we are separated into half.
and the confrontation with mao shen. he really cannot be a lawyer.
he would accuse us of doing some stuff, never state examples, then when we rebuke him, he'll give up the fight saying its his fault and we should move on.
sigh. i can't help it when i show my black face to people i dun like. its not like i'll pretend to include him when all i want is to make fun about the things he do. i'm not that pretentious.
when i hate you, i show you that i hate you. simple as that.
so face it mao shen. not that i'm being rude. i just don't want to be all hypocritical.
.lost.`@ 2:52 AM
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Hahaha I can't wait for tomorrow!! I wonder what will duncan do to james for writing that note on my paper... who knows james would have to kiss him or else do 10 concept maps, what would he choose...?
Very happy today cos di suddenly contacted me last night after so long! how long did we not talk on sms or msn... 1 month? ya I think so. He's phone gone for servicing and the last time we talked on msn I kind of said something not very nice... but now he change to nokia and I was really surprised he called me la. I thought he might just forget about me and get on with life. getting on with life ya but not forgetting such a nice fren like me... which is sweet actually. =)
He isn't the kind of fren you would even dream of your frenship would last cos we are quite different in everything. but I'll take it all in my stride. see how long we'll go. come to think of it I hope my frenship with my YJC frens would last but who knows? I may get retained at this rate and revert to anti-social me.
.lost.`@ 5:09 AM
Monday, July 18, 2005
YAY!! I passed my bio block test!! =) and my GP just passed but better than ken and ash both got 24!
Anyway that aside, daps ken ash yixian james yinghui fifi yuenshein and I made a burnbook to write out stuff we dun like about mao shen and also just to use it for chatting. melvin ah super hypocite la! dun like him anymore. ask him to sign the book say dun wan cos he not as evil as us. YA RIGHT. then why he laugh at our jokes about mao and also make all the crude remarks like us? sheesh. I look down on him!
.lost.`@ 9:30 PM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Ok I shall let them gloat. I failed Chem and Maths!!
(Ash and Ken: "Yipee!!" hear party popers in background)
My imagination. running wild.
Sigh so sad la but also so happy! saw yenling and kaiqian and mich and shoulian and amanda.
although I see mich in school almost everyday but we barely talk when its just the 2 of us.
kaiqian didn't join us for dinner, amanda and shoulian went for maddcap. so only a weird combi of the three of us. but I was amazed I actually had fun.
ok so at first we were back at scgs, updating ourselves our each other's love lives. Kai got a bf and they broke up after 2 months and she didn't even feel sad. Mich prefer to stay as close frens to wait for God's timing (yay!) and the rest unattached. dunno why mich seems pretty different now. its like she seemed super happy and relaxed and just being super slow... kind of cute actually cos I barely see her that 'her' in yjc. I guess I just didn't realise that she was that unhappy in here.
As yenling and mich and I were chatting, I really didn't know that they are feeling so uneasy in their schools. Yenling doesn't really have any close frens in rjc, cos they are not really her type. and mich she's super straight with her words so she kind of pissed some people in her class accidentally. sigh, its so good to just talk to them. I dunno they just make me peel my facades off. I guess we all feel the same way about each other. we can be unglam, blur, slow, make lame jokes and have people laughing at it, be striaght with our words and nobody gets offended, just be ourselves. We really missed the days. and I believe we all feel that out of all our frens in secondary school, only ours will last longest.
dun get me wrong, its not that I'm not happy or I'm not myself with my yjc frens. but somehow they make you sub-consiciously think twice of what you plan to do or say. like if I wanted to say something lame to add on the joke, they would most probably star at you. you must be careful with your actions cos they would use it to joke about you over and over again. I mean, ok joke about it when I made the blunder. but to rake it up every single day? its too much for me to take and I'll get super insulted and pissed. and I know they are concern about me and Amin. but don't I have the right to even keep my secrets? we are not that close until I can tell them everything and not get pissed when they insult me. besides, after all they have said about me and amin, do you think I would wan to tell them anymore stuff? I'll just be digging my own grave.
.lost.`@ 12:03 PM
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Oh no I am dying. I have no idea how to write the EoM. in what format. must include what. OH NO.
I got so many things to do. EoM. Maths notice board. bio structured and essay. maths tutorial 8. chinese oral.
now I'm planning to get some help but who can help me? my internet dunno why cannot go to asknlearn, can't check if got anympore bio work... SIgh..
Going out somemore tomorrow with ken ash and the usual pple. how am I suppose to finish in like less than 24 hours?
.lost.`@ 9:48 AM
