Thursday, August 04, 2005
i dunno why i am feeling super irritated with my so-called frens in school. its like i suddenly wish i was back to the anti-social me with no friends to watch my every move and make a big joke about it every. single. day. if i could choose i wished i didn't even need to go to school, to be battling with the sinister remarks people make about me and my guilty conscience when i gossip about someone. i am trying so hard to revert back to the Godly me. but i know very well that without God i can't.
they are fun people to hang out with but their acts are not what my church friends would deem right. its like a want the best of both worlds. i wan to have fun in this world but i do not wan to be part of the world. i know this sounds all Christian but thats who i am suppose to be.
i am so confused with myself even if someone asks me the most basic question of faith like where would i go right now if i die i wouldn't be sure if it was heaven.
.lost.`@ 11:04 PM
