Wednesday, August 03, 2005
dunno why it seems like these days i keep pondering about the different faces or characters i have when i am with different people. does everyone do that or isit just me?
I dunno why i'm so bothered about this... maybe cos i really wan to know which is the real me? or am i just acting accordingly to the environment around me... like when i'm in school i gossip about people, at home i'm amazingly quiet. at church i can go all crazy like some mad woman with grace, and with my platoon i just wan to serve them and enjoy having them with me...
i feel so hypocritical until i don't even know if i am myself when i talk to God. not that i talk to Him very often nowathese days...
sigh i'm so confused with myself. and my thing with di is suddenly surfacing all over again. he shouldn't have called me in the first place after that so-called cooling off period. lasted about 20 days?
now he never answer my sms. i am so sad and worried and angry at him. what if he is really avoiding me or he's got himself landed in hospital again or he has been telling me big fat lies all this time? and i can't believe that i am actually thinking of him. me. a 17yr old big girl. twirlled around a 14yr old boy's finger. sheesh. i am taking longer than i thought i would to get out of this complicated relationship.
kill me.
.lost.`@ 3:59 AM
